why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
