They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
