Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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