So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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