he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
