The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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