Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
50% drunk capacity currently
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
