AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You smell like stripper and shame
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize