I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
