people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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