well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
