So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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