Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
