We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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