I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize