He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize