You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
