drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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