i was born a porn star she said
Small penises have feelings too.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
