No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
