Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
