i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
