...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
