Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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