every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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