I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
