I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
