I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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