i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
