im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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