Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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