My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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