I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Less talking, more tequila
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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