if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
