Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
