i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
