If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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