If i come over, it means nothing
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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