I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
well you can't waste a boner
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
