anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
