He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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