Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize