I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
