Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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