Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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