party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
