the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
