"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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