i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
