what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she peed on how many people?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
