if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
