i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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