we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
