I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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