marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
