let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I got her a Nickelback box set.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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