My room smells like vodka and shame
She said her name was "party"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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