There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
