Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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