I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
