Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
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He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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