I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
