I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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