You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize