lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
