Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
